Rubix!

Freud would be terribly pleased to rent me as a specimen for dream analysis on my early morning hallucinatory escapades.Some mornings are little commonplace than the rest. I am just about sprinting at 100km/hr jumping from one roof top to another, not sure trying to escape something or running towards something.Other mornings are more eventful. I find myself atop the mast of a ship in the midst of a storm, the mast swaying and me attempting to climb down. Once on the deck of the ship, I find the ship sinking and a zillion voices crying to be rescued, mine being the loudest. The only thought of self preservation buoyant in the watery grave, I grab onto something and stay afloat dodging hungry sharks, reptiles. It usually ends with me swimming against gigantic waves which engulf me and the dream is lost in a whirlpool of panic.

This is the pattern when some subconscious panic sets in. Which usually follows news which I am not completely insulated against. Yesterday – a plane with 200 odd people crashed in an airport I had landed in a while back. A few days back, my favorite haunt for German savories and Tea was blown to smithereens. And the list goes on.
Does it make me insecure? Like hell it does.I donot know when this little music box with dancing figures is going to run out of battery – after all it is all ‘ random selection’ right.

So there are days when I wake up with thoughts as crazy as this and stumble onto the joggers’ park. And the sight that meets my eyes leaves me smiling. A BIG grin is what it elicits.Irrespective of all the planes, trains and buses which crashed the previous day – my joggers’ park stays unaffected. I find people walking as briskly, jogging as rhythmically as every other day. I find older folks doing yoga with the kind of sincerity that’s rare – each breath pulled in with as much passion as existed in a living form. There are folks who just jump – randomly with arms swinging wildly in a frenzied attempt at losing weight and staying healthy. Frenzy is what describes the disciplined attempt at keeping to this routine and not letting anything get in the way. I sure admire it.

I look around and find the frenzy all around.
The man who parties real hard and cannot stop talking of the drink he downed or the women he went home with.
The millionaire who floats one venture after another making more money than the combined income of a mini country and yet eats oats and tasteless gruel – all to keep fit and create more wealth. I hear it’s called ‘wealth for wealth’s sake’ and not because it can add further to an already swank quality of life which cannot be perfected.
I see the frenzy in spiritual folks as well. It’s this deep desire to know the self and realize god through the understanding of their purpose on earth. They spend time, money, energy and emotion in visiting holy places and spreading the word of the lord and themselves living in abstinence of all sorts.
There is the frenzied executive working longer hours and trying to create value and equity within the organization.
The frenzied femme fatale making more efforts to look better and find more admirers.
Young couples procreating in frenzy. One child isn’t enough – you got to battle randomness of life.
And of course the neurotic few like me attempting all of this and making frenzied observations and conclusions.

It’s a sense of running the marathon not knowing the distance of the finish line. For some it ends prematurely. It’s tragic, but like a dear friend says “they are spared the grind”.
For some, its goes on longer – they are Nature’s pride. They don’t question. They go with the ‘motions’ – accept it as it comes and do what nature leads them to.

And then there are some – who go through the motions, and usually with a bewildered expression as nature hands them one rubix cube after another – go, run and solve!